Here's how I'd tell you to plan for postpartum if I wasn't afraid of offending you...
Here’s the thing, mama: If I could sit beside you right now… This is how I’d tell you to plan for postpartum if I wasn’t afraid of offending you. Not the sugar-coated version. Not the Instagramable version. The truth.
Too many mamas are blindsided by how hard the fourth trimester can be. There’s no such thing as a perfect postpartum, but there are ways to make it softer, more supported, and a whole lot more human. Postpartum isn’t something you “bounce back” from. It’s something you move through. Gently. Slowly. Unapologetically.
So here it is. The postpartum plan you actually need - the one I wish I had. Let’s talk about what actually matters.
1. F*ck the nursery. Prepare for your recovery.
Your baby doesn’t need another onesie. You need support, nourishment, and rest.
Sure, tiny clothes are cute. But what matters more is having:
-
A stocked freezer
-
A plan for rest
-
A postpartum station with your care products
-
Supportive humans around you
-
A solid understanding of what your body (and brain) just did
-
A gentle, nourishing and self-loving mindset
2. Plan for postpartum like you would a wedding.
Yes, seriously. Start a "postpartum fund" as soon as you find out you're pregnant. Budget for the things that will support your healing:
-
Pelvic floor physio
-
Postpartum massage
-
Chiropractic care
-
New sheets - make your bedroom your rest nest
-
Food prep or meal delivery
-
Educational books
-
Postpartum care products (Viva La Vulva, obviously)
Postpartum care isn’t a luxury. It’s essential.
3. Food prep the f*ck out of your third trimester.
Your future self will be SO grateful. Ask your whānau and friends to help if you can!
Fill your freezer with hot, easy, nourishing, nutrient-dense meals. Think:
-
Slow cooker freezer bags
-
Bone broth, soups and stews
-
Muffins, bliss balls, and energy bars
-
Anything you can eat one-handed while cluster feeding
Food is medicine. Especially when your hands are full, your boobs are leaking, and your sleep is patchy at best.
4. Build your village. Or create one.
You are not meant to do postpartum alone.
If you already have a village, lean in. If you don’t, create one. Join mum groups. Chat online. Hire a postpartum doula if you can. Message that mum friend who gets it - it makes a world of difference and connects you in!
Write down what you'd love help with:
-
Meals
-
Cleaning
-
Looking after pets
-
Sibling care
-
Emotional support
People want to help but don’t really know how - give them something useful to do!
5. Prioritise rest like your recovery depends on it.
Because it does.
Try the 5-5-5 rule:
-
5 days in bed
-
5 days on the couch
-
5 days around the house
Rest is revolutionary. And no, it’s not lazy. It’s medicine for your body, your brain, and your future pelvic floor. I get it, if you have other children this can be hard - this is where you need to lean on your village.
6. Protect your mental health like your life and your baby's life depends on it.
Because honestly... it does.
Ahead of time write down what fills your cup. Plan for your "you" time (even an everything shower counts). Talk to your people about what the signs are when you’re not coping. Make a plan for who you’ll call if you’re needing support or a pep talk. Ideally someone who gets it, and you trust! If you can, get outside daily - even just to sit, get your feet on the grass. Nature is a super healer.
And if you do find yourself feeling low all the time or more than you think you should be - please, please, please mama - reach out!! You deserve support. Always!
Here are some useful resources;
7. Have the hard convos ahead of time. Your relationship shifts when a new human enters into your life.
Postpartum will stretch your relationship in ways you didn’t expect. Everyone's resources are a little stretched, sleep can be broken, and time - what even is time anymore?
It really pays to have convos before baby arrives, communicate needs, wants, ideas if things are tough:
-
What does support look like to you - and what does it look like to me?
-
How do we want to check in with each other emotionally?
-
What are the signs that one of us is overwhelmed or not coping?
-
What expectations do we each have for the first few weeks after birth?
-
Who’s doing what - cooking, laundry, baby care, feeding support, cleaning?
-
How can we share the mental load (e.g. tracking feeds, nappies, appointments)?
-
How can we stay connected while adjusting to new roles?
-
Are there any fears or concerns we want to share now, before baby arrives?
-
How will we prioritise both our needs alongside babies?
-
Who can we each call if we need support that the other can’t give?
It’s not about having all the answers or a flawless plan - it’s about building a shared understanding now, so when things get hard (and they might), you’ve got something strong to fall back on, to refer to - which can take a lot of pressure off!
8. Ditch the bounce-back BS.
Your body just birthed a human. It’s allowed to look different. You’re not meant to "bounce back."
A wise woman once said: "The only thing you should bounce back into is bed."
Box up the jeans that make you sad. Fill your drawers with comfy clothes. If you can, treat yourself to one or two outfits that make you feel good.
9. Know that you won’t love every moment. And that’s okay.
You can be grateful and still find it hard.
You can love your baby and still want space.
You can be in awe and still feel overwhelmed.
What’s not ok is feeling sad all the time. If that’s your reality, speak up. We said it before, and we’ll say it again. You matter mama, and your mental health matters!
10. You won't feel like yourself before.
If you feel lost, know that it’s completely normal. This transformation has a name: Matrescence. Learning about it changed everything for me.
You don’t go back to who you were before. You become someone new. And that’s not a loss - it’s a becoming. Stay curious, what lights you up? What no longer lights you up? It’s a chance to really tune into yourself, mama. Get excited about meeting yourself.
Postpartum deserves a plan, too. Not just the birth. Look into breastfeeding, look into birth, look into postpartum!
Start now. Save this list. Share it with your partner. Write it down in your journal. DM your bestie. Ask for what you need. Because you matter too. And your healing is worth preparing for.
Want help getting started? Download our free postpartum planning guide and take the first step towards feeling more held, prepared, and empowered in the fourth trimester.
