Sarah's Postpartum Unfiltered

Welcome mama to Postpartum Unfiltered, a series by you! We turned to our village of mamas to share their real unfiltered postpartum experiences — the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Together, let’s normalise what our bodies go through after birth and create a community of empowered and educated mamas. If you want to help normalise postpartum and share your story click here x

This is Sarah's story, founder of Dear Rubes

I always thought I would love being hapu. Both of my pregnancies were planned but both not enjoyable; my first one - I battled with hyperemesis gravidarum and lost a lot of weight, then at my 20 week scan things got worse - Ruby’s congenital heart defect was found, I dealt with depression and anxiety, and felt like I was in a dark hole till the very end of pregnancy to be honest.

My second was okay, put on some healthy weight but felt sick and vomited most of the pregnancy but more barebale than HG and no hospitalisation. I just really didn't enjoy the physical or mental feelings of being pregnant!

I had a c-section booked for my first pēpē but she decided to also come 5 weeks early (35weeks), natural fast birth - thankful for that! Luckily walked away literally with no tears or major birth injuries. My second daughter, I tried to get her out in every way I could possibly think of but she decided to come at 39 weeks, another very fast natural birth with thankfully no birth injuries again! Both girls came within 4 hours of water breaking - probably the best part of both pregnancies. 

I’m 5-6months PP now after my second and honestly both PP stages have 10000% been the hardest things I’ve ever gone through (together with my first pregnancy). Along with dealing with milk coming in, a new body, bleeding and healing I was chucked in the deep end with staying in NICU, SCBU, Children’s ward and Starship with our first pēpē. Ruby ended up having open heart surgery at 3 months old which besides the sleep deprevation was probably so distracting from thinking about PP itself I never really dealt with it/thought about it. I had an ok time Bfing with Ruby, she had almost every type of feeding from NG tube, EBM, BF, Calogen top ups and bottle/formula. 

This second PP has been rough again, I really thought there was no way I’d have it hard again but two times a charm apparently. My second kōtiro came along with oral ties (posterior tongue tie, lip tie), uncommon presentations of allergies - CMPA (finally found out at about 12weeks old) and reflux. PP looked a lot like no sleep - major mental health rollercoaster, the most anxious I’ve been in my life and bouncing on a swiss ball for 8+ hours a day with a pēpē in pain. Bfing didn’t work out this time round and I’m proud of myself for stopping as early as I did to protect a bit of further mental and physical fatigue/stress. 

I would describe myself as a protective advocate for both my girls. Both of them going through a shit load via the health system has been a … journey. Always trust your gut as a mother and don’t be afraid to fight for what your tamariki deserve. My DM’s are always open for Mum’s struggling with reflux/CMPA/oral tie babies and or CHD tamariki (or just a hard time in general!). I know how challenging the road is; know you are doing more than enough by just surviving each day māmā. 

Thankfully, all of that is behind us now and we can all focus on slowing down, learn how to fix broken nervous systems and sleep. We are in a safe and healthy space now and to leave you with some positivity after that rough read - I am so lucky - my first daughter is an amazing loving and caring big sister, I’m getting lots of laughs and smiles each day from Millie who is now thriving on amino “milk” and we are able to leave the house now for normal visits and outings. We even took both our tamariki on a holiday because holy hell we needed one after all that!

My advice for new māmā to be;

• Keep an open mind to your birth plan
• Favourite VLV products were in order; Peri spray, Breasties and witch hazel.
• Prep your village and heaps of kai
• Keep on top of your mental health
• Make someone check in on you daily, seeing if you have eaten and drunk enough

Kia kaha māmā! You got this. X

🔥💗 Thank you so much, Sarah - for your honesty, and vulnerability and for sharing a piece of your postpartum journey with us. This is such a powerful step towards changing the narrative around our postpartum experiences. It's time to not only celebrate the wins we also empathise with the challenges! 

If you want to help normalise postpartum and share your story click here

If you want to explore our free postpartum resources click here x