What the Actual F*** Just Happened to My Sleep?*

*We’re Starting the Postpartum Rest Revolution - With Viva La Vulva Experts Offering Ways To Get More Zzz's Postpartum

Let’s be real, the early days of postpartum are a wild, leaky, blurry-eyed ride, and at the heart of it all? Sleep deprivation. The kind that turns “What day is it?” into a legitimate daily question, and can have you on the verge of tears when someone asks you "how are you?" or if baby is "sleeping through the night".

Not sleeping is a legitimate form of torture. It’s no wonder we lose the plot, this kind of exhaustion isn’t natural for a healing body. At Viva La Vulva, we’re not here to sugarcoat it, but we are here to walk beside you through it and offer some helpful ideas to get more rest. So if you’re sitting in a milk-stained robe, googling “Can I die from sleep deprivation,” this one’s for you, mama.

What to Expect When You’re No Longer Sleeping

If you’re pregnant you’ve heard it before:  “Say goodbye to sleep.”  “You’ll never sleep again.” Cool. But nothing prepares you for the actual 2am-4am-6am shuffle. That’s why we’re here with some real-talk an how to actually get more REST in the fourth trimester. 

Welcome to the fourth trimester, where you might:

• Nap in 45-minute chunks like your baby.
• Forget words. Like... all of them.
• Cry at burnt toast or because someone asked “how are you?” or “hows your child sleeping?” “or if you’re tired” (spoiler alert: you are).
• Feel like a zombie, just with more bodily fluids involved.

Sleep deprivation in postpartum is real. And it's not just about being extremely tired. Lack of sleep impacts your:

• Mood (hello, emotional rollercoaster)
• Hormone regulation (your body’s doing A LOT)
• Cognitive function (there’s a reason you walked into that room and forgot why)
• Mental health (postnatal depression and anxiety are more likely with chronic sleep loss)

This is serious stuff, but you’re not alone, and there are things you can do.

Why Rest Matters (Even If It’s Not Sleep)

In a society obsessed with “bouncing back,” we believe Rest is a revolution. You don’t need to earn it. You deserve it. Full stop. You just created life. Your body is healing, your hormones are shifting, and you’re keeping a tiny human(s) alive. That’s a whole damn job. You don’t need to do more.

Let's be clear, rest doesn’t always mean sleep. But it might mean:

• Lying down with your eyes closed for ten minutes
• Zoning out to a podcast or rain sounds while baby naps
• Saying no to guests who want to be entertained
• Slowing down with other commitments
• Having a shower and a few minutes to yourself (if safely possible) 
• Asking for help (yes, even when it’s hard)

✨ As VLV Expert Renata from Lila Jasmine reminds us:

“Sleep deprivation in the postpartum period can feel like a fog that never lifts. If you’ve had a rough night, sleep in if you can, those early morning hours offer deep, healing rest. Can’t sleep in? A 20-minute nap, even just lying down with closed eyes, can recharge your mind. Rest doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful. Grace over guilt, always. You’re doing an incredible job, even when you’re running on empty.”

VLV Expert Tips + Tricks to Maximise Rest & Wellbeing

✨ From VLV Expert Kate at Little Bird Lactation:

“One simple way to maximise precious overnight sleep with your newborn is to skip changing nappies during the night (unless there’s poop). A wet nappy alone doesn’t need immediate changing and avoiding a full change can mean less disruption and an easier settle for everyone. Feed, snuggle, and get back to bed. In the haze of sleep deprivation, these small changes can make a big difference to your rest and recovery. Be kind to yourself, this season is intense, and you’re doing it”

✨ From Sophie at Imperfect Parents:

“Figure out how to comfortably and safely bedshare with your baby - even if this is not your first choice of sleeping arrangements, we know that statistically almost all parents fall asleep with their baby at some point, so doing it in a safe way (on a firm flat bed, pillows and blankets away from pēpi, sober parent) is safer than falling asleep in a chair or sofa.”

Sophie also shares a beautiful wellbeing check-in for couples to do together. Here are a few of our faves:

•  Something easy to make when I'm hungry is: _____
•  I can remind myself to drink fluids by: _____
•  Having a rest is more important than: _____
•  I can enjoy fresh air every day by: _____
•  Something that fills up __parent 1__'s  cup is: _____
•  Something that fills up _____parent 2__ 's cup is: _____
•  Someone to contact if you're worried about    parent 1.   Is: _____
•  Someone to contact if you're worried about    parent 2.  Is: _____

✨ From Vanessa Werner at Birth Care:

"Sleep deprivation is one of the many things that is talked about and expected during postpartum but it is a challenging condition to truly experience especially when we are giving so much of ourselves towards caring for our newborn. Do what you can to take care of yourself, even if in the smallest of ways - a nutritious meal, a hot shower. You can also ensure that you are supporting yourself with appropriate supplementation such as vitamin D, melatonin, magnesium, and iron along with plenty of hydration."

✨ From Michelle Sweeney, Functional Medicine Practitioner:

“The postpartum phase is beautiful but exhausting… Support your body by prioritising sleep when possible, balancing blood sugar, & regulating your nervous system. Rest when opportunities arise instead of pushing through exhaustion. Small habits like morning sunlight exposure and reducing blue light at night can help regulate cortisol and improve sleep quality(when you do get it)."

Michelle’s expert advice:

1. Prioritise Sleep When You Can - 

• Morning sun + less blue light at night = better sleep quality
• Eat protein, fibre, healthy fats (not just coffee + toast)
• Regulate stress with breathwork or somatic movements like rocking
• Ask yourself: What do I need right now to feel safe and cared for?

2. Balance Blood Sugar for Better Energy & Sleep -

• Start your day with protein & healthy fats (e.g., eggs, avocado, or a protein smoothie).
• Eat 3 balanced meals & snacks with protein, fiber, & healthy fats to prevent crashes( No naked carbs)
• Limit caffeine (max one cup, before 1 PM) to avoid stress spikes.
• Stay hydrated, including electrolytes, to combat exhaustion.
  

3. Regulate Your Nervous System - 

• Take 5–10 minutes for breathwork, meditation, or grounding techniques.
• Reduce stress where possible, ask for help, delegate tasks, and let go of perfectionism.
• Support your inner child: Pause, place a hand on your heart, and ask, What do I need right now to feel safe and cared for? Somatic movements like rocking or swaying are also very soothing

Sleep deprivation is tough, and sometimes feels like it’ll never end but small, mindful steps can make a big difference. Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your baby. You’ve got this!

VLV Takeaways to Snag a Little More Sleep

You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re not alone. You’re doing something monumental. And no matter how “small” your progress feels, we’re here to remind you: Rest is not optional! You deserve to rest. You deserve care. You deserve support.

Here are a few Viva-approved ways to get some extra Zzz’s!

• Safe co-sleeping or bassinet beside the bed -  Keep baby close to reduce disruptions. Talk to your midwife about how to safely co-sleep. 
• White noise + blackout curtains -  Helps you fall back asleep faster too.
• Lower the bar -  Let the laundry wait. Rest comes first.
• Ask for help if possible - One person sleeps, the other handles baby. Trade off. 
• Nap like it’s your job - Sleep when baby sleeps, or at least close your eyes. Forget the dishes. Lay down. Your body needs this.
• Create a wind-down routine - Even 5 minutes of calm can signal your nervous system to chill.

Viva La Vulva Supports Rest - Our Must-have Products & Resources

• Postpartum Herbal Bath Soak – soothe your body & your nervous system
• Perineal Healing Power Pack – less pain = better rest
• Clary Sage Roller - Helps to ground in times of overwhelm. 
• Postpartum Affirmations - Daily/Hourly Reminders to prioritise your wellbeing. 
• Free Downloads & Educational Books

We see you, tired mama. You’re doing an incredible job. Your rest is a revolution, and we’re here for every nap, every stretch, and every damn moment of healing.

If you, or someone you know is struggling with perinatal distress here are some helpful resources:

• https://www.littleshadow.org.nz/
• https://pada.nz/
• https://www.mothershelpers.co.nz/
• https://pada.nz/national-helplines/
• https://pada.nz/screening-tools/

Sending you all the Zzzs! The Viva La Vulva Crew xx 

Empowering mama, embracing postpartum.