Navigating Postpartum - Lucy's Journey

We spend so much time preparing for baby, that as new mamas we often forget to prepare ourselves for postpartum! So we asked mamas to share their experiences, ideas, feelings - anything really - about how they navigated their postpartum journeys. We want to normalise what our bodies go through after growing and birthing a baby. Postpartum experiences are rarely talked about, but a baby changes you, your body and your soul! If you love the idea of normalising everything postpartum and wanna share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, wisdom about your postpartum journey please email us here.

LUCY’S POSTPARTUM JOURNEY

My contractions started midday Friday and baby entered the world Sunday evening after being induced, epidural, episiotomy, forceps and postpartum haemorrhage. After 2 sleepless nights, and A LOT of medication I actually thought "omg what have I done?!" I was sooo exhausted and then had a new little baby to bond with and feed. I decided life was much easier being pregnant.

The first couple of days were ok... But when we arrived home, my milk came in and I was a hormonal emotional wreck. Crying because I loved my baby because I was tired because the baby was crying. Also, I became really uncomfortable with anyone touching or holding him. I was terrible at saying no so we had quite a few visitors and I nearly had a panic attack every time someone would ask to hold him... and then had the family judge me on this and tell me I was being irrational… plus learning to breastfeed on top of this and not sleeping at night. So my advice to others now is” wait until you are ready for visitors, do not feel bad for saying no (especially to family) and save the first few days to bond as a family at home and get used to your new arrival.  

I have loved breastfeeding and still EBF (stands for exclusively breastfed) at 4.5 months, but found it a lot more time consuming than I first thought. I didn’t realise how much more it is than just simply food for the baby. For my baby, I think he was latched for the majority of the day for the first 2 or 3 weeks - and people are giving advice of "use a dummy - don’t let him use you as a dummy" or "maybe you don't have enough milk and he needs formula" or "express so other people can help with feeding". I agree that fed is best... but also felt quite unsupported for breastfeeding and persevering even though I was finding it hard. My husband was amazing support though and really listened, understood and validated my concerns. 

Then came day nap drama… we contact nap and feed to sleep. Initially, I was very stressed about this because everyone was telling me it was wrong and I was making a rod for my own back by doing this. But it felt natural and he was happy and I was happy and he was sleeping so we have continued. Still, I feel constant judgement for this decision and recently had a friend tell me "you're just not strong enough to listen to him cry".  

Through the stress of feeling like I was completely failing and being so overwhelmed, that everything that felt right to me was perceived wrong by others, I reached out and sought help from the postnatal adjustment program (PNAP). By this point, I was crying daily and just didn't understand how I was failing so much.  

This was the best thing I ever did. The nurse was amazing and so reassuring that I wasn't failing my baby and everyone adjusts to parenting differently and has different styles and things they feel comfortable with. After seeing PNAP I felt so much better supported and could say to people; actually, my baby is happy, I am happy, we are well bonded and just because what we're doing is different to what you're doing, doesn't mean I'm wrong or "not strong". 

“AT 4.5 MONTHS POSTPARTUM, I FEEL LIKE I'M PERSONALLY NOW IN SUCH A GREAT SPACE-I COULD NOT BE MORE IN LOVE WITH MY GORGEOUS LITTLE BOY AND HE IS SUPER SMILEY AND CHATTY. I WILL CONTINUE TO CONTACT NAP AND EBF UNTIL I FEEL READY TO CHANGE IT.”

I still have people regularly give me their opinion but now it’s more like water off a ducks back.

Lucy

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Lucy! You’re a courageous mama. Thank you so much for sharing your story and postpartum journey with us! We think you’re incredible for sticking to your mama instincts and not listening to what others had to say and we’re really happy to hear you reached out for help when you didn’t know what else to do. So often mamas feel like they are failing, all alone or isolated and asking for help is courageous and the best thing you could’ve done for you and your bubba!!! Happy mama = happy baby in our books. xxx VLV

Hey mama, wanna share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, wisdom about your postpartum journey? please email us here.

Amazing photo by @bxcsmxth, http://www.bxcsmxth.com/maternity