Alice's postpartum Unfiltered

I’d never heard of low supply until I went through it myself. It's crazy to think about now because as I’ve opened up about it, I’ve heard more stories of mamas in similar situations. It seems it is a really common problem that is hushed away.

I was only ever able to express 10-20ml a day. At that point, my baby was drinking 90-120ml every feed. It was heartbreaking as my dreams of breastfeeding crumbled in front of me. I wasn’t prepared for how sad & useless I’d feel. I persevered for 2 weeks before calling it. I was expressing all day long, tube feeding formula while she latched to me, taking fenugreek, domperidone, drinking buckets of water and eating 3 healthy meals a day - nothing changed.

I’m 6 weeks postpartum - it’s taken this long to fully accept my reality and know my baby is happy and healthy - even though she’s bottle fed. I believe I struggled so much with the idea of bottle feeding because of the “breast is best” narrative. Formula feeding was brushed over at my antenatal classes and in my Well Child | Tamariki Ora book, there are 3 pages of info on breastfeeding compared to 1 on formula.

When I lay bedridden in hospital recovering from my c-section, & my baby screamed of hunger, I was made to feel guilty about introducing a bottle of formula to top her up. “You know once she drinks this she will never be considered exclusively breastfed?” the nurse warned. So what? Why does that matter?! As my midwife put it, if you were to line up 100 five year olds you would never be able to tell who was breastfed & who wasn’t.

There are so many perks to bottle feeding! Bubba is so lucky that her dad can feed her, her grandparents & aunts & uncles! What a special way for her village to bond with her. This means I can stay in bed while my husband takes the morning shift! I know exactly how much food my baby has had each day. And I can drink caffeine & have a couple of glasses of wine on a Friday evening!

There are many reasons why some women will formula feed their babies. Every one of them is valid. Was this the journey I wanted? No. Is it okay though? Absolutely. Should a woman feel any shame because she bottle feeds? F** no!

🔥💗 Thank you so much, Alice - for sharing a piece of your postpartum journey with us. This is such a powerful step towards changing the narrative around our postpartum experiences. It's time to not only celebrate the victories but also empathise with the challenges!