Navigating Postpartum - Anna's Journey
Hey mama, so you’ve gone through the magical door to motherhood and birthed your baby! Can we just say Congratulations! We think that every time a baby is born, so too is a mother! And while we spend so much time preparing for baby, as new mamas we often forget to prepare ourselves for the transition to motherhood.
We want to know (and share) what really goes on postpartum, so we asked mamas to share their experiences, ideas and words of wisdom about how they are navigating their postpartum journey. At Viva La Vulva we want to normalise what our bodies go through after growing and birthing a baby, and becoming a mother. Postpartum experiences are rarely talked about, but a baby changes you, your body and your soul!
If you love the idea of normalising everything postpartum and wanna share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, wisdom with other mamas to be - you can share your story here.
Thank you for this important conversation and helping us normalise these stories by telling yours, powerful mama.
Please note* This mama wanted to remain anonymous so for that purpose we have changed her name!
VLV: How do you feel overall about your pregnancy, birth and postpartum experiences? And how far along in your postpartum journey are you now?
Anna: I found pregnancy isolating and unpleasant due to Victoria’s lockdown, hyperemesis, and pelvic girdle issues. My birth experience was scary having to wear a mask due to fever and COVID-19 precautions, my partner not being allowed in the theatre, and my baby getting stuck -- I was grateful for a wonderful surgical team. Postpartum was a huge learning experience. I’m glad to be feeling more like myself, 14 months on.
VLV: Tell us about your postpartum healing journey - how has it been for you?
Anna: I had no idea how challenging it would be. I just tried to face each issue head on, in really practical ways. I was helped along by commiserating with friends, a good osteo -- also a Mum -- who helped with breastfeeding back issues, physio work reframing expectations around healing and exercise, a gynaecologist reframing expectations around healing and sex, supplements and good food to try to bounce back from five round of antibiotics due to mastitis, multiple podcasts (non-baby related!), time alone out walking and breathing, being able to drink wine again, the help of my Mum and partner, and getting back to work.
VLV: What are the hardest things to expect becoming a new mum and how did you overcome/work through these things?
Anna: It’s all consuming and the way I dealt with that was to find little ways to detach and relinquish responsibility here and there so I could recharge (I need to be alone or not talking to recharge properly so just had to work as a team with my partner to achieve these moments). Being able to let go from time to time was and is key to my survival. Also knowing the horribly difficult things, like lack of sleep, won’t be forever.
VLV: Having a baby can change your relationships. Your relationship with yourself, your partner, your family, and your friends. What advice can you give around maintaining good relationships, during this time and beyond?
Anna: Share the burden. My partner and I divide up the things and agree in advance so we can relax into the plan. We both want to work and we both love caring for our daughter so we work together to each have a balance of both. It turns to shit when we stop communicating and checking in and being grateful for each other and agreeing what the plan is in advance.
VLV: Becoming a mother is a huge physical and emotional shift, in moments of overwhelm how do you find your calm, and look after your own mental health?
Anna: Massage, osteo, acupuncture, shakti mat in a warm room, walking, podcasts, reading, having a great day at work, wine, wine, wine.
VLV: Do you feel different mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually? Has any of this changed compared to pre-baby?
Anna: Yep, I felt like I went mad at so many points in the journey -- the hormones are reeeal. Physically, I’ve never felt so exhausted and out of my own body in all my life. Spiritually I feel really good – the love and sense of awe makes everything worth it.
VLV: What advice would you give to a first-time mama approaching her due date to help her feel more confident about her postpartum journey?
Anna: You are not alone – anything you experience has been experienced before so please reach out without shame. Don’t f*ing feel guilty about a thing, not one single thing. It’s so hard. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to or want to do. You are amazing and should be so proud of yourself, every step of the way.
We loved reading this. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us!
xx VLV
Navigating Postpartum is a series by you, our sisters. If you love the idea of normalising everything postpartum and wanna share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, wisdom with other mamas to be, we wanna hear from you - please get in touch with us here.
